Hi friends! I think I'm trying to be a bit more vulnerable and open and honest with both myself and the world. I dunno why, but I think that's important so with that being said, I thought it'd be cool to do a post with a list of things that make me anxious. I put myself as someone with high-functioning anxiety because I can still function normally, but I might just be faced with a panic attack here and there. And don't get me wrong, since moving to Melbourne, I have come a long way regarding my anxiety, but there are still things that I'm working on. And I definitely think I can avoid doing things because of my anxiety, but I'm a work in progress so ya know.
Answering the phone (usually to unknown numbers).
Listening to voicemails.
Calling in sick anywhere.
Feeling unwell because I think someone is going to tell me off.
Answering the door (because it stems from when someone tried to break in).
Having any form of contact with the post office people (when I lived in Richmond, they were so rude to me every time I went in, telling me I was always wrong, it was horrible).
Having to get an Uber or some sort of taxi.
Interacting with strangers.
Ikea - oh my god, I get so lost in there.
Being home alone at night.
This is more sensory overload (but when there's more than one device making a noise e.g., a TV on while someone else is watching videos on their phone).
Walking back from the train station at night.
Driving around Melbourne.
Being in the car when literally anyone else is driving.
Ordering food at a fast food place like Maccas (thank you Luke for doing this). I think this one is because when I was little, my parents would make me order and I didn't want to.
When the house isn't clean enough - like right now I want to go clean it.
Feeling like I have to get everything done before I can rest.
The dreaded "we need to talk" text.
People who walk down the street and stare into my house (I am probably a hypocrite for this one but when I'm staring right back at you, maybe you should stop.
The weird guy who lives down the street who walks past with his two kelpies at least twice a day (he now pretends he doesn't know me even though he left me with a dog). IYKYK that story.
Horror movies (and all the creepy stuff I watch, but I wanna watch it).
Being left on "read" for ages.
Heights, being up high. I know it's safe and I'll still manage to get up there, but it's so scary on the inside.
When I don't feel clean e.g., I dislike it if I go a day without showering. I know it's fine, but I feel disgusting. I think this one stems from the 2011 CHCH quakes.
When my dog starts barking at nothing (especially at night). Like is it a ghost or are you barking at something legit?
Talking to people about my blog or YouTube channel because I think they might judge me even though I'm really proud of them.
My phone being less than 70% charged.
Any sort of IBS flare-up that I'm not prepared for.
When someone I'm with is rude to customer service staff (one example was when I was out at a pub with some people and one meal was late, and the poor waitress got an earful from someone, I felt so bad). I was too scared to say something. I hope I can stick up for customer service people in the future.
Leaving the house without my phone.
Making a phone call or setting up any kind of appointment (I usually procrastinate this until the last minute OR if I do it while I'm there, I feel much better).
Ordering anything from Uber Eats.
Eating in front of people (idk why, I like eating).
Picking up scripts from the pharmacy. I always think they're going to tell me I'm not allowed to get my medicine. I have no idea why.
Thinking something bad has happened if X doesn't text me back within 30 minutes.
Leaving Benji at home by himself.
Ordering at a restaurant - especially if I haven't made a decision.
Claymation. Don't ask. Don't put on Chicken Run. UGH
Grocery stores that don't have self-checkouts but also grocery stores in general.
Loud wind noises because it sounds like an earthquake.
Too much caffeine.
My dog eating random sh*t off the ground.
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Thanks for enduring this with me! Much love,
Ash xoxo
Thank you for opening up. I also have anxiety and struggle with some of these same things.