Things I find weird about living in Melbourne (as a Kiwi)

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Hi friends! I'm making this draft blog post to keep track of all the things I (personally) find weird about living in Melbourne (as a kiwi). Now, I've lived here for over 2 years now so I'm getting used to a lot of this stuff but even just moving across the ditch, the culture shock is quite apparent so let's get into it. I'm tossing up whether I make a YT video about this as well - maybe that will come down the track, we'll see but please enjoy this list:

• Ice blocks are called icy poles (idk why but ice block sounds a lot better it's a block of ice innit?)

• Pineapple rings from the fish and chip shop are "sweet" like they're made with cinnamon and are smaller. The ones in New Zealand are really savoury and you can dip them in tomato sauce - you couldn't do that here, it's more like a donut. I did talk to Luke's family about this too and they said they are more savoury here too but ALL the fish and chip shops I've been to here, I've gotten a sweet one.

• Hook turns. Enough said. Plus those terrifying roundabouts where you can't see the trams coming at all and you have to give way to them.

• Cars aren't as nice as they are in NZ where they let pedestrians cross. It doesn't really happen here - except maybe in small country towns. A few times where Luke and I have gone travelling, we've been like huh when cars have let us cross.

• When I was a tourist here (pre covid), everyone was sooo nice. And don't get me wrong, people are still nice here, but the customer service levels just aren't the same - maybe that's because I'm no longer a tourist).

• Rentals are pet friendly in Victoria (like it's easier to have a pet than for a landlord to say no to pets). Good for us and good for Melbourne but it's really hard to get pet friendly rentals in NZ.

• The humidity - it's crazy.

• That everyone makes the same jokes about NZ accents - like it's not funny when you've heard it over 100 times. Yes, I say pin instead of pen or fush and chups instead of fish and chips. I also can't believe how many people think Benji's name is Binji - like bro I'm from NZ, do I need to go into whole linguistics lessons? Because someone did not get it the other day and they just looked at me like I was crazy when I explained we pronounce things differently. I thought Melbourne people wouldn't have been as ignorant but THERE are so many people who have no idea what I'm saying. In good news, we've ordered Benji a harness with his name on it so hopefully that'll help people get it.

• Public transport is amazing (except when trains get replaced by buses) BUT people will still complain about it.

• You need a coin for a trolley at the supermarket - this is so weird. I think this is to stop theft or something but I never saw it in the south island in NZ.

• WTF IS A MAGIC?? I still haven't had one. Idk if it will hurt my stomach but I need to know. I keep forgetting it's a thing so I'll ask next time I'm at the coffee shop.

• Bats live outside - I always thought they only lived in caves (I was so wrong and naive).

• A $2 coin is smaller than a $1 coin - make it make sense.

• Meat and dairy products taste weird. I think the NZ dairy and meat industry is very good so having to change my taste buds was hard to get used to.

• Some of the slang is downright confusing - the amount of times I've had to confirm something makes me feel a bit dumb (and NZ has a lot of slang).

• You must enjoy AFL (there's no way around it).

• How much wildlife is around Melbourne in general (did not expect to see foxes in suburbia). Plus I have a few favourite nature spots.

• The wop wops are pronounced differently (just between you and me, the kiwi way is better, shhhhh).

• I think this one goes without saying - Melbourne is good for equality and things like that BUT the rest of Australia, really really racist. It sucks so much and I wish it was better.

• MRAs, PUAs, and incels are a lot more apparent. Once when I was going for a walk in the city with my friend - just along the river, we ran into a PUA and it was very creepy. She was a lot nicer than I was, I told the guy to go away haha. Thankfully, he left us alone after that.

• I still can't change that I say duvet to doona - and I try.

• Once I complimented someone on their jersey and they had no idea what I was saying and I had to be like oh I mean jumper. Apparently, it's an American thing? Idk man.

• People who get annoyed when my house is colder than they expect it to be. Sorry I'm from a cold climate!

• Where the f*ck are the good mince and cheese pies? Do they exist? Also, why are there less bakeries??? I know there are some but they are way fancier than the NZ ones you get on every corner. Damn, I miss Darfield's bakery.

• Possums are very cute and small and not a pest here.

• People carry their pet birds around with them. I've seen a guy with his crimson rosella in Essendon and I've seen someone take their cockatoo out to Queens Park in Moonee Ponds.

• The horror stories of the bar that is Revs. No, thank you. Just pls no. Don't go there.

• Paying for parking sucks AND it costs so much. And if you think you can park further away and just walk, think again, it's a permit zone. Ugh.

• It doesn't really matter what you wear - there are so many different fashion choices, some people will stand out, others will be wearing corporate wear, and others in casual. Doesn't matter, wear what you want or feel most comfortable in.

• I still don't know what side of the road to catch the tram on (and I'm no longer embarrassed).

• You can't buy alcohol at the supermarket - it's illegal (unless it's Aldi?) and then there's usually a bottle store right next to the supermarket OR inside it. So weird.

• Petrol is so much cheaper. Hearing Luke complain when it goes over $2 a litre I'm like huh? In NZ, it's probably like $3 right now!

• You can get stuff off Amazon and it comes quickly. Plus general shipping doesn't take as long because it's not as far as NZ.

• People aren't as empathetic when you tell them you're from CHCH. Like oh you didn't live through those quakes did you? Um yes I DID thank you very much.

• Vegemite is more popular but in NZ, I would say people prefer Marmite. I actually like them both.

• There are no "dairies" and people don't know what I'm talking about - there's 7/11s and some very rare milk bars, but you can't just pop down to the dairy and grab an ice cream or some lollies.

• Not everyone is taught how to swim here??? I'm pretty sure it might be different now but in NZ, you must learn how to swim at school. Here, I've met some people who don't know how to swim.

• People say soft drink instead of fizzy drink and I learned that the hard way. Sometimes I'd say soda and they still looked at me weird hahahaha.

• Cafe culture is EPIC here. It's always time for brunch and that's what you do! I love brunch.

• And lastly, SO many hidden bars and quirky things to do. You can never ever get bored in Melbourne.
  

Here's some photos for you to enjoy :)

I hope you enjoyed this post! Don't forget to bookmark my blog for easy access!

Much love,

Ash xoxo

Update 5th May 2024: I also made a YouTube video about things I find weird about living in Melbourne as a kiwi! Check it out below

I'll most likely keep updating this post when I find new things (if I remember)