Kia Ora! Happy Monday bloggo friendos. How are ya'lll going today? Melbourne weather is very humid but also super rainy and dark today. This morning we woke up feeling much better so I think we are both definitely on the mend (I still don't know if I had covid but whatever it was made me super tired and exacerbated my IBS, asthma, and iron deficiency symptoms).
I just want to have a wee rant for a second because I overheard a conversation the other day about myself where I was accused of doing nothing (I'm not sure whether this was in my life in general or about my little career break) but anyway, that was said that I don't do anything and that I need to be told to do anything. Firstly, I've spent the whole last week sick with Luke so why would I be going out and doing stuff and making other people sick? If you're sick, stay home and rest and get better. It's not like I'm a bloody dog moping in the corner until I'm better, I'm still watching stuff, writing my blog, showing up etc. And the day that Luke got sick, I had plans!
Secondly, I took a career break right now to focus on my own health, you are not a doctor and you do not get to decide what's right for me or tell me or my partner what I should be doing. I am the only one who gets to decide that. And no, I am not living off of Luke, I'm living off my own damn savings and working out what other avenues I can take for work going forward so f*ck you. Even if I ran out of money, I wouldn't even ask for it.
Thirdly, do you actually know how much I do? If you're close with me in some way, doing nothing doesn't really work for me. My health got in the way of my last job and that was out of my control, it was getting to the point where HR were really really mad at me for having IBS, gaslighting me, and all that. I was going to get asked to leave. Anyway, I've written about that in other blogs so I don't wanna get into too much detail. But the decision was made to have a career break which has helped me focus on my mental health and my physical health a lot over the past few weeks. It doesn't mean I'm never going to work again. And I'm still doing stuff. I do all the bloody cleaning 95% of the time, do lots of cooking even when I feel like shit and think I'm going to faint, write my blog every single day, make videos that will hopefully make someone laugh or help someone else out, do lots of decluttering around the house, I go out and take photos, I go out and exercise when I can, I do random surveys online and heaps more. I just want to make it SUPER clear that I'm not the stereotype that you think I am of someone who sits around and plays games all day doing nothing around the house. Sure I play games sometimes but I'm definitely not lazy, I push myself way too much and end up regretting it and I try and rest when I can. I have travel plans for after Christmas too. So if you can't handle that or who I am, then either say it to my damn face or shut the f*ck up. Just because I'm not someone with a traditional 9-5 doesn't mean I can't focus on doing what I love.
Rant over.
Thanks for reading my rant if you got through that, I know it was a lot but some things are just really getting to me lately. I wish people would take the time to actively listen OR learn about me. Just agh. Just because I don't always talk about what I'm doing, doesn't mean I do nothing.
But anyway, in good news today, I've been for a walk around the block (almost 30 minutes today), saw some cute doggos, and have uploaded my newest guided sleep meditation to the YouTube land. You can check it out below:
I think this one is super cute and when I was listening to it, it made me super sleepy so I think that's a good thing. But if you're like me and you've ever struggled with insomnia or anxiety, then I think a sleep meditation is the way to go! I really enjoyed writing this one. So feel free to give it a listen tonight before you go to sleep and I'll write some more in the future. Writing is something that I've always been passionate about and who knows what will come of this. Maybe I'll finally write a book or something. I make up really stupid stories sometimes and tell them to Luke so maybe other people would enjoy them too.
I know a lot of you are also waiting on some more sociology videos and I promise they're coming, it's just a bit harder to turn your brain back into academic mode when you haven't been there for a few years. And I know I can get back into that mindset, it's just been awhile and I'm a little rusty and still trying to find my niche. Although, I am really enjoying putting content out there, even when it doesn't get heaps of fews. Again, I'd just be really happy if I could help someone out or make someone laugh or smile. I don't need much in this world.
But yeah, I'm someone who's constantly learning, evolving, and growing as a human and I'd love if you could see that. I don't have much else to say today, was probably focusing a lot on the negative things around me the past few days but here's to more positivity and hopefully letting my creative streak shine through.
For today's question of the day, I want to know, what is something that you wish you had spent more time doing when you were younger? Let me know in the comments below. For me, it's probably a few things, I kinda wish I didn't give up badminton, spent more time baking and take photos or actually took videos earlier in life and probably also not worrying so much about what other people thought of me (which I am still trying to do, it's just very hard).
Thanks for reading today's rant and random thoughts! I hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you all again tomorrow!
Ka kite, Much love,
Ash xx
Being a bit healthier and being outside playing sport a bit more (especially cricket)