Good afternoon everybody and welcome back to YET another blog post from the most amazing writer in the world (no jk, jk, I'm not actually that conceited). But I am starting to wonder if the reason Google AdSense keeps turning down my reviews for ads on the blog is due to the blog titles. I honestly think I provide entertainment and education for my readers (so who knows). I've also heard that it's really hard to get approved nowadays so they'll ping you for anything. But I'd like to keep trying and eventually be able to monetize this platform. Maybe it just doesn't generate enough traffic. I've got no idea but I appreciate everyone who reads this on a daily basis and everyone who reads it occasionally.
If you're new here, you're probably a bit confused with my style of writing and that's okay, it's not for everybody but it's probably an accurate display of what goes on in my brain and the stream of consciousness style really works for me. I also had a goal of getting to 100 daily blog posts (and sheesh, we are nearly there). I don't know whether I am going to keep writing daily once I hit 100 or move to a few times a week, we will just have to see what happens in my life in the next few weeks/months. Trying to manifest myself my dream life and whatnot.
Anyway, Melbourne weather today is back to being super humid and I've been out for at least 2 walks today which was good, but I didn't feel good when I woke up this morning because I barely slept. And I honestly feel like, yet again, the day has gotten away from me and that I haven't achieved very much. I always feel so guilty when I don't do anything productive and idk why, I'm on a health and well-being career figure-stuff-out break but I just feel like I should be doing more. But will that make things worse for my health? Yeah, probably. I'm trying to look after myself and rest when I need to while simultaneously still trying to do things I enjoy. I'm really enjoying making silly video content but I know it's not instant gratification or anything like that. But we shall see what comes of it. You never know what might happen today, tonight, tomorrow, or even next week for that matter. I've been working on a little vision board too (which I know sounds silly) but it's actually pretty cute and I'm not sure if I'll ever post in anywhere but it's my 2024 vision board and I want to start writing my 2024 goals but I'm feeling a bit stuck about those right now. Idk why, I think maybe because it's still November 2023 and I don't tend to write my yearly goals till the end of Dec/Early Jan. But I have all these thoughts rushing around in my head and am kinda focused on my last 3 goals for 2023, that are probably going to roll over to 2024 and that's okay, I was just so close at nearly getting everything done. However, one of those goals was career related and I'm not quite ready to find something just yet. I definitely need more of a break, especially when most days I need to sleep during the day. It's just not fair. I eat healthy, I try and exercise as much as I can and I'm still struggling. I guess I have a chronic health condition that does make things harder but I don't want to be defined by it. I want my iron levels to go back to normal and I want to be able to do a workout everyday and go on my hikes and take lots of cool photos and make money. But rn, things are hard and I have to keep telling myself that it's okay, things will get better, money will come. Ya know? I feel like I'm just kinda ranting about nothing and having "woe is me" kinda vibes but when you're struggling, you gotta let it out. And what's the point in having a blog if I can't freely express myself on here? Bleugh. This paragraph went for way longer than I expected.
I'm also kinda struggling because I keep watching videos about how vlogging is kinda dead and I guess I did miss the bat on that one and could have started doing it sooner, but I was definitely not in the right headspace until now and then some days I might feel good or feel like I'm on the mend and then other days I feel worse, and it's turning me into more of an introvert then I was before. Whatever I end up doing next, whether it's being a creative, or something completely different, I promise you I will put my heart and soul into whatever it is and it'll be great. One thing about me is that even if I fail (which I've done plenty of times in the past), no matter how long it takes me to, I'll always get back up and try and try again. For example, didn't do well in year 10 maths so didn't get into the "smart" class for year 11 maths, but then worked super hard to do the scary exams and get into the "smart" class for year 12, sure at first I was told I wasn't supposed to be there and they'd put me in the lower class again, but I spoke up and got put into the class - it was way too hard for me, but I'm pretty sure I passed. And then there's year 13 high school, got super sick this year, and started having kidney problems, back issues, and the school decided to trial "2-hour" periods which I couldn't handle so half the time I'd leave and bunk school (and my form teacher just put me down as there - thanks man!) Anyway, who hasn't bunked a little in their life? So I really tanked on my exams and was relying on my photography folio to get me my UE (fun fact here, the only class I passed was English) and then I don't think I actually failed everything so I wish I requested a remark. In NZ, NCEA has this thing where only a certain amount of people can go through with a certain grade and what not (so idk the system is flawed) and I remember looking that's a bit weird at some of the exam papers once I got them back. But anyway, I wanted to try and get my photography folio remarked, and one awful art teacher said "well, you'd be wasting $50" and I haven't thought about that since I was 18 and I was like but I've literally been paid for weddings. And so, I never got anything re-marked.
As I'd already applied to get into uni, I got a letter from them saying oh BTW here's this extra credit course you can do to get into uni, it'll just be a year later than you thought. And I want to show my transcript for that course because I did so well. The letter from the uni was kinda like hey we saw all your year 11 and year 12 grades and thought that something might have gone wrong in year 13, so here's your second chance. Anyway, breezed through the course and I remember other students having to have interviews all throughout except me (idk why, but I think it was because I was a bit of an outlier - had good grades and then just had a flop year). Gah, I sound kinda conceited again. I also failed my driving test and NZ makes the restricted in a manual really hard but ya know what, I worked hard and did it again and passed and I was so proud that I did it in a manual because most people do it in an automatic and then learn manual later on (which I mean I probably would have done if I could) but everyone just drove manuals hahah so that was my option. For some reason, I think manuals are more common in NZ than Australia. I don't know if it's because it's 2023 or if it's because there's more dairy farms. Idk, I don't wanna think too much about than rn because my sociological brain just isn't working today. Anyway, I've also failed at baking and cooking SO many times but I keep trying and now I think my baking is pretty good. My icing and piping skills probably need some fine-tuning. And then, there's that time when I felt anxiety and panic at Ikea (IYKYK) as well as all the photos that have been flops. I actually went through some old photos earlier today and was like wow look how far I've come, some of these are just awful. So basically, what I'm saying is that you shouldn't be afraid of failure because you can always get back up and try again. If you'd like to read an article about not being afraid of failure, I highly recommend "this one". Where am I going with this post again? Oh right. The point is that I need to link this back to the idea of blogging, vlogging, and making social content. Some of it is going to flop and that's okay, you keep trying, experiment with what works and what doesn't work and see what happens, because every failure or flop is an opportunity (it annoys me that this is an incomplete sentence).
I actually started thinking about today's blog post and being like I'm gonna write something creepy or look at more glitch in the matrix stories or something like that but we ended up here and I'm okay with that because it feels kinda inspirational ngl. And people used to tell me I would write really inspiring messages (back when I was a 2011 tumblr princess - lol if you've been friends with me on FB since 2011, you'll know what I'm talking about).
Anyway, I think I should stop writing now because it's making me a little sleepy and don't want to have a nap at like 5:30 because I definitely won't sleep. But for today's question, I want to know, what's something you failed at and then had to try again and succeeded? I know it's pretty tough but it could be something as small as I didn't want to call my doctor but had to make an appointment (bc we've all been there). Let me know in the comments below. I've written mine throughout this blog post.
Okie I'm going! Please come back tomorrow :D Much love,
Ash xx
Obvious one was my driver's licence - I failed first time but passed second time