April 2025 Horoscopes From a Social Scientist
- ashey9111
- Apr 1
- 3 min read
Welcome to your April 2025 Horoscopes From A Social Scientist (meeee)! I hope you enjoy these - they're a bit sillier than normal hehe #horoscopes
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Previous 2025 Horoscopes
April 2025 Horoscopes From a Social Scientist
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Happy Birthday season, Aries! This month, the universe is giving you main character energy whether you want it or not. Your confidence is peaking, your ideas are chef’s kiss, and your ability to resist eating an entire cake in one sitting? Nonexistent. You may feel an uncontrollable urge to start a new hobby (perhaps extreme couponing, interpretive dance, or competitive napping - you could always check out that lying down in water study in Melbourne). Beware of mysterious food cravings—Mercury in Retrograde may trick you into thinking pickles and peanut butter are a good combo (they aren’t… or are they?)
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
You will find yourself deeply connected to your sofa this month. Some might call it laziness, but you prefer the term "grounded." Your comfort zone is thriving, but so is your snack stash—keep an eye on who’s sneaking bites! You might want to keep your stash on the d-low.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
April is a whirlwind of plans, half-finished projects, and trying to decide whether to cook dinner or order takeout for the third time this week. The answer? Both. Double the fun, double the chaos, just how you like it. And, only half the clean up. Who doesn't want to eat two meals at once?
Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)
Your emotional support snack will be working overtime this month. You may feel extra sentimental—possibly crying over a really good cheese toastie. That’s okay. Let the cheese heal you. My go to cheeses for a toastie are cheddar or gouda.
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
You radiate energy, but this month, your spotlight is stolen... by a particularly photogenic plate of food. Be prepared for all your best selfies to be upstaged by a perfectly plated dessert. It's fine. You're still the main course.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
April brings a strong urge to organise your pantry, alphabetise your spices, and lecture friends about proper meal prep. However, don’t let perfectionism keep you from enjoying a messy, delicious, chocolate-covered moment. Fondue party, anyone?
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Indecision strikes again: sweet or savoury? Coffee or tea? Binge-watch true crime or a cosy baking show? Just remember, you don’t have to choose. Balance is key. Yes, that means dessert and chips.
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
This month, your mystery-solving instincts will be at an all-time high. Who ate the last slice of cake? Where did that missing sock go (looking at you, Benji)? Why do you always crave snacks at 2 AM? Some mysteries will remain unsolved. I recommend watching some good old fashioned Scooby Doo cartoons.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
April inspires dreams of adventure and daring flavours. You might spontaneously plan a trip or attempt to cook a dish beyond your expertise. In any case, it promises to be a memorable (and potentially smoky) experience. Just try not to burn the house down. Or burn the house down if that's what you call "adventure".
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
You’re in serious business mode this month, but don’t forget to fuel yourself with good food. No, coffee is not a meal, and yes, you do need a break. Step away from the to-do list and treat yourself to something decadent - like a good cheesecake and cappuccino.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
You’ll have a sudden urge to rebel against the status quo—this may manifest as putting pineapple on pizza or eating breakfast for dinner. Stay weird, stay wonderful, and maybe don’t mix five different condiments just to "see what happens."
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Your creativity is flowing like melted cheese. Dreams may feel extra vivid, especially if you eat spicy food before bed. Lean into your artistic side—whether that means painting, baking, or finally writing that food-inspired poetry collection.
No matter your sign, April is a great month to indulge in good eats, good company, and a little bit of chaos!
Much love,
Ash x
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